Tag Archives: safe sex

Condumb.

I was bangin’ yo mama
She sounded like Mimsy
She pounded my wiener
It got weak
It got flimsy

The condom slid off
Up in yo mama
We barely took notice
It led to no drama

She forgot all about it
For years it was there
‘Til her insides felt teeth
And slight bristles of hair

It developed a face
With eyes, nose and ears
When she queefed it all out
They both shed some tears

Some call it a monster
But it isn’t so bad
The mutant condom baby is you
Surprise!
I’m your dad

Humpin’ Jack Brash!

I’m like humpin’ jack flash
When I’m up in dat ass
I’d swipe my card in your gash
But you only take cash

It cost extra for no rubber
My finishing move is near
Your uterus should fear
The repercussions of my spear

You will get pregnant
Cuz I am quite fertile
I’ll jizz deep inside you
Where our baby will curdle.

C(L)ock Jaw!

She gave me brain
Like a quiz show
‘Til I made it rain
Like a jizz show

It wasn’t lockjaw
It was cockjaw
I was in her mouth
Not in her cha cha

I had a chubber on
With no rubber on
I unloaded my nut
In her lower gut

Not in her vagina
Nor her behind-a
An oral dick takin’
Was her oral fixation

May she rest in peace
She died on her knees
Forever the orator
Until a boar ate her.

#Herpes!

My balls are so big
My penis looks small
When I sit down to pee
The pee hits the wall

Of course I am kidding
My balls are average size
But my penis is small
Compared to most guys

We met at a tavern
Vagina like a cavern
This feels like a sin
You’ll be unsure
If I’m all the way in

Of course it’s in there
Lost in your pube hair
This is regretful
Your vagina is dull.
And nowhere near full

It’s hungry like a hippo
It’s on fire like a zippo
This is not friction
It’s an affliction

It burns when it pees

Hashtag. herpes

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