Tag Archives: roofie

Bartender’s Tar Bender!

I’ll make your panties soggy
With my pants hoggy

I’ll make your clam damp
With my ham stamp

I’ll make your holes moist
Dick like a Rolls Royce
If I mixed your drink right
You won’t have a choice

I’m a bartender
On a tar bender
Over serving bartendees
Til they’re on their knees

With mouth wide open
Here’s to hopin’
She’s not a spitter

I like a bird who swallows
I won’t sodomize a quitter

And a beejin’
Ain’t a beejin’
Unless it’s demeanin’

Your Vagina?!

I like chicks with self esteem
Not a chick who does everything
With a dude who says anything
To get his thing inside her jeans

I see you with those other guys
One or two at a time
Spreading legs and telling lies
Honestly, I don’t mind
Please exaggerate my penis size

Your vagina makes my penis cringe
I’d bang you if I’m on a binge
Weed, coke, and alcohol
I’ll enter you after last call

We’ll stumble home
You’ll give me dome
I’ll send you home
Don’t steal my gnome

Your vagina makes my penis shiver
DON’T TOUCH ME BITCH
I’LL PUNCH YOUR LIVER
I was cravin’ head and you deliver

Your vagina makes my penis weep
It keeps me up I’m trying to sleep
Teeth, claws, and tentacles
I think I saw some testicles

Your vagina makes my penis shrink
What’d you put in my drink?

I can’t believe you roofied me
I really hope you’re goofin’ me

Feelin’ woozy
Should throw up

Make it quick
Don’t wake me up

Dater Ape!

Like drone strikes
Our bones strike
Her groin site

She’d resist but
Her whoremoans
Aren’t on strike

Alright so maybe
We drugged her
Switched drinks
When I hugged her

Don’t ask with what
I drugged it
She collapsed
When she chugged it

We both found a hole
Our penises plugged it

We kept her airtight
All through the night
Way too unconscious
To muster a fight

About 9 months later
Shows up on my stoop
She’s holding a baby
It’s covered in poop

Too late to abort it
Too broke to support it
I could kill her
And bury her
Or man up
And marry her

No matter my choice
I’m sentenced to life
For having a kid
Or killing my wife

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