Tag Archives: pussy

Say Yo to Drugs!

I snort coke like a vacuum
My nose is a Dyson
No nasal septum
Nostrils like Tyson

I try not to sniff it
Unless it is gifted
The product’s too pricey
The dealers’ too dicey

I burn grass
Like a cheetah
I crush pussy
Like PETA

Chicks back that ass up
Like cocaine does my bowels
Her pussy’s so wet
The motel’s outta towels

I don’t mess with meth
Ecstasy or MDMA
My mind’s crazy enough
I can’t stand PDA

Shrooms would be super
If it wasn’t food poisoning
From a cow’s pooper

We can drink, smoke, and drill
In my room if you’ll join me
You can try krokodil
‘Til you resemble a zombie

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Thicky, Tricky Dick Girl!

I thought you were a thicky,
Thicky, thick girl
Turns out you were a thicky,
Tricky dick “girl”

I thought your pants bulge
Was a pube perm
But your pants bulge
Was just a dude worm

Finger banging
Left you hanging
Cuz there’s a dick there
In your “vagina” hair

It’s why my fingers missed
My reply’s a fist
Squeezing fresh lube
All on your flesh tube

A down and up motion
Followed the lotion
G.I Joe Kung Fu Grip
Jizz runs down your hip

Canoe For Two Band Geeks!

I built a canoe, I built it for two.
It took me awhile, to build it for you.

Use it at band camp
To finger the camp tramp
‘Til you get a bad hand cramp
Or her vagina gets damp

I built a canoe, I built it for two.
It took me awhile, to build it for you.

Try more than one finger
Your digits should linger
‘Til it swallows your fist
And queefs out a mist

I built a canoe, I built it for two.
It took me awhile, to build it for you.

Use it at band camp
Dispose of the camp tramp
Whom your weiner knocked up
And you killed with an amp

Your Vagina?!

I like chicks with self esteem
Not a chick who does everything
With a dude who says anything
To get his thing inside her jeans

I see you with those other guys
One or two at a time
Spreading legs and telling lies
Honestly, I don’t mind
Please exaggerate my penis size

Your vagina makes my penis cringe
I’d bang you if I’m on a binge
Weed, coke, and alcohol
I’ll enter you after last call

We’ll stumble home
You’ll give me dome
I’ll send you home
Don’t steal my gnome

Your vagina makes my penis shiver
DON’T TOUCH ME BITCH
I’LL PUNCH YOUR LIVER
I was cravin’ head and you deliver

Your vagina makes my penis weep
It keeps me up I’m trying to sleep
Teeth, claws, and tentacles
I think I saw some testicles

Your vagina makes my penis shrink
What’d you put in my drink?

I can’t believe you roofied me
I really hope you’re goofin’ me

Feelin’ woozy
Should throw up

Make it quick
Don’t wake me up

#Herpes!

My balls are so big
My penis looks small
When I sit down to pee
The pee hits the wall

Of course I am kidding
My balls are average size
But my penis is small
Compared to most guys

We met at a tavern
Vagina like a cavern
This feels like a sin
You’ll be unsure
If I’m all the way in

Of course it’s in there
Lost in your pube hair
This is regretful
Your vagina is dull.
And nowhere near full

It’s hungry like a hippo
It’s on fire like a zippo
This is not friction
It’s an affliction

It burns when it pees

Hashtag. herpes

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