Tag Archives: poetry slam

Donkey Shlow!

I’m slappin’ dat ass
Like my donkey’s goin’ slow
My Oh! face makes you say
“This honkey’s kinda slow”

But I’m not a retard
My dick’s a petard
It’s burstin’ through walls
Flanked by two balls

My dick is so deep
It’s gettin’ the bends
My dick is so deep
You’ll require depends

Skinny like a broom
It still brings da boom
After it’s in you
You’ll shit a log flume

Skinny like wheat
It still brings da heat
It dislikes hand jobs
Please use your feet

My dick brings da noize
And it brings da funk
It feels like penetratin’
So let’s get you drunk

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Your Body is a Blunderland!

Your body is sacred
But sometimes, so are cows
Pharaohs worshiped cats
While I worship sows!

‘Fore I wreck dat ass
Do some spring cleaning
Soap up your g string
‘Til your dirty eye’s gleaming

We’ll throw a sex orgy
For the summer solstice
You’ll inhale all the cake
Like you’re angry at Hostess

In honour of fall’s
September equinox
I’ll dunk my two balls
In your one semen box

Your body’s my temple
Sculpted from ejaculation
Splayed open on my sofa
Prepped for desecration

A winter wonderland
Hop on my icicle
Invite one more friend
Let’s make it a tricycle!

Oh snap, it’s winter time
No one’s riding trikes
I’ll see myself out
Continue writhing, dykes.

Cockin’ Around the Christmas Tree!

Cockin’ around the Christmas tree
At the Christmas partner swap
Cameltoe as far as you can see
Every couple fucks non-stop

Cockin’ around the Christmas tree
Let your inhibitions swing
Later we’ll try that blumpkin thing
That’s my shit your gargling

It will be so unsettling
When you hear
Gimp slaves screaming, “Call me mommy
Lick my balls, ignore my scabies”

Cockin’ around the Christmas tree
Test for STDs today
Everyone fuckin’ verily
The thought of condoms went away

Interlude (EnterLube)

It will be so unsettling
When you hear
Midgets yellin, “Try some molly
Whack my balls with boughs of holly”

Cockin’ around the Christmas tree,
Test for STDs today
Everyone fuckin’ verily
The thought of condoms went away

Whoretilla Chips!

Pussies love my dick
My jizz is kitty litter
Puppies love my dick
My jizz is titty glitter

Puppies means boobs
Go ask King Lawler
He’s a color man
Was once a brawler

Why is there glitter?
She is a stripper
Even with no cash
I’m gonna tip her

My dick’s too big
It’s gonna trip her

Your dick is small
Can’t please an infant
You lack stamina
Done in an instant

You don’t keep her happy
Your sex is crappy

Not the good way
As in anal
But the bad way
As in banal

When she’s with you
She stinks of me
When she’s with me
She stinks of pee

Normal chicks like
Beholding flowers
Chicks like yours like
Golden showers

Pee in her mouth
And vagina lips
Pee in a bowl
For her tortilla chips

Thicky, Tricky Dick Girl!

I thought you were a thicky,
Thicky, thick girl
Turns out you were a thicky,
Tricky dick “girl”

I thought your pants bulge
Was a pube perm
But your pants bulge
Was just a dude worm

Finger banging
Left you hanging
Cuz there’s a dick there
In your “vagina” hair

It’s why my fingers missed
My reply’s a fist
Squeezing fresh lube
All on your flesh tube

A down and up motion
Followed the lotion
G.I Joe Kung Fu Grip
Jizz runs down your hip

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