Tag Archives: paternity

Condumb.

I was bangin’ yo mama
She sounded like Mimsy
She pounded my wiener
It got weak
It got flimsy

The condom slid off
Up in yo mama
We barely took notice
It led to no drama

She forgot all about it
For years it was there
‘Til her insides felt teeth
And slight bristles of hair

It developed a face
With eyes, nose and ears
When she queefed it all out
They both shed some tears

Some call it a monster
But it isn’t so bad
The mutant condom baby is you
Surprise!
I’m your dad

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Bologna Pony Sexpress!

Double chins
And double necks
I used to date her
She’s my fed-ex

I made it rain
Like air mail
Some landed in her slot
Made a male heir

When I donned the rubber
My dick skin felt a breeze
She was far too eager
To get off her knees

She poked some holes
Cuz I poked some hoes
It was a pussy spree
Until she trapped me

I’ll never say
That the kid’s her fault
To an axe wound
That’s like rubbing salt

But the kid is short and brown
He looks like UPS
While I am long and white
Built like a wedding dress

The kid belongs
To an other
Chances are
It’s a brother

I pray his dad
Keeps him out of jorts
Maybe teach him how
To play some sports

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