Tag Archives: hilarious

Shitting Room!

In Old Navy

I was turning tricks

In Old Navy

I’d screw dudes and chicks

In Old Navy

In the fitting rooms

In Old Navy

I’d take cash or shrooms

In Old Navy

It was mostly dudes

In Old Navy

They had filthy pubes

In Old Navy

It was never chicks

In Old Navy

I sucked some dicks

AIR BRUTE FORCE ONE!

I hacked into United Airlines’ human resource files and discovered a very disturbing training video…

I American’t Even!

Golden towers
Golden showers
Atop his thrones
He sires his clones
From many wives
From many lives
He ran his empire
Bathed in ire
They’ll run his company
He’ll run our country
Into a crater
There is no later
There is no future
There is no hope
There is no change
There is a dope
A nesting doll
Will end us all
With nukes or hate
We sit, we wait
There was another
A wife, and mother
With all her might
She lost our fight
She was no saint
Perfect, she ain’t
He will be worse
A lingering curse

LOVIN’ MY DUMMY!

​I don’t make love
I make regrets
I got no moves
You’ll remain un-wet

Unless I’m on top
Cuz I sweat a lot
Sweat raining down
Draining into your frown

Don’t worry at all
It won’t last very long
I’m a one minute man
A Missy Elliott song

If I get over heated 
I’ll stop for a rest
Once I have skeeted
I’ll cry into your chest

Stuffed like a turkey
Slathered with brine
When I cook you and eat you
You’ll forever be mine

SUICIDE BY COCK!

​I got my cock out
At a Taco Bell
I got my cock out
You can barely tell

I got my cock out
All pretense is gone
I got my cock out
Condom already on

I got my cock out
Just lookin’ for love
I got my cock out
In you, it will shove

I got my cock out
No, please don’t run
I got my cock out
Now I’m waving a gun

I got my cock out
Too late to stop
I got my cock out
Suicide by cop

I got my cock out
In heaven or hell?
I got my cock out
Only St. Pete can tell

I got my cock out
It illicits pity
I got my cock out
In the holy city

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