Tag Archives: blow job

Bartender’s Tar Bender!

I’ll make your panties soggy
With my pants hoggy

I’ll make your clam damp
With my ham stamp

I’ll make your holes moist
Dick like a Rolls Royce
If I mixed your drink right
You won’t have a choice

I’m a bartender
On a tar bender
Over serving bartendees
Til they’re on their knees

With mouth wide open
Here’s to hopin’
She’s not a spitter

I like a bird who swallows
I won’t sodomize a quitter

And a beejin’
Ain’t a beejin’
Unless it’s demeanin’

Advertisements

C(L)ock Jaw!

She gave me brain
Like a quiz show
‘Til I made it rain
Like a jizz show

It wasn’t lockjaw
It was cockjaw
I was in her mouth
Not in her cha cha

I had a chubber on
With no rubber on
I unloaded my nut
In her lower gut

Not in her vagina
Nor her behind-a
An oral dick takin’
Was her oral fixation

May she rest in peace
She died on her knees
Forever the orator
Until a boar ate her.

Your Vagina?!

I like chicks with self esteem
Not a chick who does everything
With a dude who says anything
To get his thing inside her jeans

I see you with those other guys
One or two at a time
Spreading legs and telling lies
Honestly, I don’t mind
Please exaggerate my penis size

Your vagina makes my penis cringe
I’d bang you if I’m on a binge
Weed, coke, and alcohol
I’ll enter you after last call

We’ll stumble home
You’ll give me dome
I’ll send you home
Don’t steal my gnome

Your vagina makes my penis shiver
DON’T TOUCH ME BITCH
I’LL PUNCH YOUR LIVER
I was cravin’ head and you deliver

Your vagina makes my penis weep
It keeps me up I’m trying to sleep
Teeth, claws, and tentacles
I think I saw some testicles

Your vagina makes my penis shrink
What’d you put in my drink?

I can’t believe you roofied me
I really hope you’re goofin’ me

Feelin’ woozy
Should throw up

Make it quick
Don’t wake me up

%d bloggers like this: